My weekend was pretty nice. I did a 5K of the sort on Saturday. It was "Uno-Dia de Los Muertos 5K" and I walked it. Maybe next year I'll be able to run it rather than walk it. It started at 8:oo in the morning and there was so many people there. This was my first year doing it and let me tell ya, the atmosphere, the people, the music, was all so awesome. The "vibe" was so vibrant! I finished the race at 1:09, so yes, it took me an hour to do 3 miles. Hey! I finished it, that's all that matters!
As for me in general, I'm still having issues with my daughters, right now it's Vero who seems to be the rebellious one testing my strength. I was hurt to see that she got a tattoo on her hip, I seen it at a glance and when I questioned her, she would not let me see it and we got into another argument/confrontation. None of these girls seem to comprehend that we are not equal and them raising their voices or even making a suggestion that they are gonna hit me will not be tolerated and WILL trigger my inner defense AUTOMATICALLY! They may not love me, may not respect me, BUT I will remind them I am not one to be disrespected and if they wanna learn the hard way, then I'll be more than happy to accommodate. She hasn't been home since Friday. I'm guessing that the dumbass put her loser boyfriends name on her body. My husband tells me to let them do what they gotta do and learn the hard way. As easy as it is for him to say that, its still very hard to turn the other cheek because as I mom I believe that I have to try and prevent any and all harm from them. So I guess enough about the people that get me down on a daily basis.
I have my follow-up with my dietitian, psych, and bariatric doctor on November 13th. I weighed myself last week and I was at 181. I hope that I at least loose some more weight before my appointment with them. You will recall that October I was at 189. OH! I went thru my closet and got rid of alot of blouses, suits, and dresses that no longer fit. I'm still having anxiety of getting rid of my clothes because I still feel that "what if" I don't loose weight and have no clothes to put on. I tell ya, my mind messes with me a great deal!
Lastly, I am attaching 3 pictures, two are of my side and front view today (November 5th) and one is of the 5K race. Let me tell ya right now that I don't want to deceive you in my appearance. You see many people posing side ways or in dark clothing and I have alot of people tell me that I look good, that they can tell I have lost weight, etc BUT I see the same me. My front view picture really got me down today, I still look HuGe and I'm kinda bummed out about it today but I need to remind myself that it takes time and its not gonna happen over night. I'm just being honest, this is what I'm feeling right now, and my mind is my own worse enemy. Ever hear the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder? My eyes see something totally different than what everyone else sees. :(
See ya soon!
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| November 5th-181 pounds |
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