Just a small note. im sitting here on the couch, on my phone blogging because im bored and cant find the damn laptop! Sucks to have my husband in the same house and day in and day out its the same routine, come home, make dinner and sit on the couch and flip thru channels while he goes to his room and goes to sleep. Yes I understand that working 12 hours he deserves his rest but sometimes I'd like to be talked to you, ask how my day went, some sort of acknowledgement. I guess you cant change whats been so routine for many many years. It also sucks that he sees me everyday and he cant tell me if I look like im losing weight. People tell me that they are starting to see some changes whether it be in my face, waistline, or my shoulders. I see the same girl in the mirror. I tell ya, that mirror is worse than getting on the scale.

Trying to fight a cold and currently have a bad bad sore throat.  ;( So my next appointment to see the dietician, bariatric doctor, and pysch doctor wont be until November 13th. Hopefully by then I will have lost some more weight. Yes, I feel like im obsessed with the weight loss, I want it sooner rather than later or "gradually". OH yea, I also started softball for 10 weeks/every Sunday. My body is rather sore especially my legs and shoulders. When I ran bases, it felt like I had weights on my legs. Definitely need to get in shape for that again. I messed up a play, totally went blank and felt bad in the end. Im not competative just real hard on myself knowing that I could be better than anticipated. Im my own worse critic.

I keep looking at the one-month-picture. Yea I dont see any difference. I see shoulders still broad, hips still a resting area for my arms (I call them my armrests) an still see the double chin. They werent kidding when they said weight loss surgery does a number on your thinking. Mentally Im exhausted at times and Im not gonna lie, I wanna cheat with foods that Im not supposed to have BUT I have managed to fight the urge to binge on something and replaced it with some type of fruit or veggie. Its hard! After eating so many years a certain way and eating everything and anything, to go "clean" is rough! But it needs to be done for the look you want. So, if your contemplating weight loss surgery, be sure your mentally ready for a great amount of changes in your "everyday routine" of consuption of food.