APRIL 5th...

Geesh, its Friday, where do I start? Shall I start with I woke up feeling sad today. The weather outside is brisk, sunny, and its supposed to go up to 45 today. Why am I sad? I have no clue, just feeling a bit emotional today. I cant even explain it. I feel like something is missing inside/outside/mentally/physically. Pick one, anyone, and I would be able to tell ya what's missing from every single one of those listed. I think I'm sad because yesterday I didn't go to the gym BUT I did however go to the park to get a walk/run in. I was there from 7:30-8:45pm. I ran the park 3 times and walked it 3 times. Running on a treadmill in a gym is TOTALLY different from running on concrete. When I run at the gym on the treadmill, I can set the speed (5.1). At the gym I run for 5 minutes at the speed of 5.1 and then I walk for five minutes at the speed of 3.5 and alternate until my 5k is complete. I make the treadmill selection of a 5K and it takes me about 44-46 minutes to complete it. I'm not sure what the dynamiters of the park is but I did want to stay exercising at the park for the same time I'm at the gym. When I ran around the park, I was very winded and came to the harsh reality that gym and outdoors exercising is completely different. I felt defeated when I noticed that I was winded. I'm not saying that I'm not winded at the gym, because I am, but I felt different at the park. I kept pushing myself to keep going even though I really wanted to stop. On the treadmill I can monitor my running and whatnot but outdoors, its just a whole other ballgame. I dunno. I'm not gonna stop doing it. I tried it and I got a taste of it and I'm gonna work on it more and more until the winded feeling subsides.

I still have clothes in my closet that I try on and notice that they are baggy at the armpits or fall off my neck area which upsets me. Yes I'm happy that they are baggy and falling off but at the same time, trying to look semi-decent in an outfit it hard especially when funds are low. I cant keep going out every day or weekend to find clothes that fit. I love the second hand stores don't get me wrong but its FUNDS that prevent me from doing anything. My morning routine usually consists of determining what outfit I'm gonna wear, getting ready to get dressed and if its baggy, then it goes in a pile on the floor for donation. I think that's what got me down today as well this morning.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, getting a haircut...thinking EXTREME, like pixie extreme! I'm so unsatisfied with my looks. I'm not sure what is going on. I cant explain it. Something is missing and I have no clue what it could be.

Drum roll please................the magic number today is 154.8. :( That face pretty much sums it up. I hope I have not hit that dreaded plateau that everyone speaks of because I have such a long way to go. That number right there is another factor as to why I'm blue today. I have my appointment with the plastic surgeon on April 15th and hopefully plastic surgery for my abdomen is in my near future. Here's my 8-month picture:

I participated in a fundraiser yesterday, for the "healwithlovefoundation" and displayed my jewelry for the very first time and as well as my scarves. I made $282.00 from that showcase. I feel really stoked about that! My next vendor display will be at an open house that my friend is having April 14th. I also started a facebook page for "Myrtle's Bling" to show the stuff that I have made and is for sale. The website idea was going strong until my darling husband said "dont do it because you'll get taxed on it" and there went that idea. Facebook is about as close as I'll get to having a webiste. Better than nothing I guess. Better than me having to pull out my phone and show pictures when I can have one go to facebook and look at the things I made in the albums provided. My facebook page can  be found by searching "Myrtle's Bling" or drqqpy2@gmail.com. Hopefully it goes well there too. I swear, I had many thoughts in my head this morning as I started this blog but with all the interruptions in between blogging my damn thoughts went away and have no clue what I wanted to blog about. Grrrr! Bye for now!