June 6th...

I haven't been able to post until now (June 11th). It's been pretty crazy. Work is terribly stressing me out, its so unorganized, two nurses finally were hired to replace the two that left but in the meantime of them getting trained, mentored or whatever you wanna call it, it's still a mad house here. Ive noticed that I'm trying to eat more and more with the stress that I'm feeling and it truly has me worried. I definitely don't want to gain weight, I find my mood worse the pass couple of weeks because of work and I find myself sad and "wanting" food! Something has to change or I feel like I'm going to be on a downward spiral feeling out of control.

To add to the stress, my delay in blogging was mainly due to work and also my brother had a heart attack on Saturday June 1st. I've been spending time with him before, during, and after work. He was finally discharged on June 8th. Seeing him laying there in bed took me back to the days when my father was in and out of the hospital and eventually died in the hospital. I swear all these emotions are going thru me that all I want to do it eat to console myself. He's doing better, he'll be off work for the next 3 weeks. His current situation at home, him being the only sole provider for his home really has him feeling like he's drowning. It makes me mad that the poor excuse of a "girlfriend" doesn't step up and help in some form or another. Him verbally telling me all his problems makes me real sad that I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything with everyone that I love just gets fixed. That would be great if I was in an episode of "bewitch" but the reality of it all is that I'm not on tv and my snapping of the fingers just ain't gonna work. :(

On a brighter note, my great nephew Tylor graduated high school. That's such a huge accomplishment for any "Becerra" family member and it seems that we have finally broken the expectations of back in the day where not one family member finished school. Very proud of him. My sister-in-law Jan also surprised us all on Saturday June 8th with a surprise visit from Florida. We were all in shock to see her! Sunday dinner was served like old times and it was a day where I actually felt like a family. It's a feeling indescribable.

I really don't have much to blog. I've been pretty stressed and hoping things get better here. I'm going to start looking elsewhere for a job internally and externally. I've been feeling real sad and am trying my hardest to fight it.

Lastly, I did weigh myself and if anything I gained half a pound. I'm at 154.8. That saddens me even more. :( Here's my recent picture for June.

Thats all for now. Bye.